Its closed to 3am.

I just came back not long ago from an AMeiZING Concert by 張惠妹. I give it a 10/10 Concert as I enjoyed every single bit of it with my best friend Irene and Jasmine, and I wished there could be a few more nights of such concert in Singapore. Loves it totally! As of now, I have kinda lost my voice because of all the singing.

Not forgetting, during the concert, someone popped into my mind and brought some tears along with it during a few of those songs that 張惠妹 sang. I have been telling myself that its something that probably won't work and will not happen but I am not sure why you kept popping into my life. I really wished I didn't know you and all the dinners and stuffs didn't happened and probably my life would be much better. I am now kinda left with this agony to let you go but yet keep seeing you in my life.

I would love to cherish every single moment spent with you but to think of how you have forgotten about me most of the time and claim how you don't mind spending time and all with me, it just kinda left me thinking and thinking over and over about this. Anyway, I really hope this can be over soon. Its hard to let things go but I really would like to try and let you go.

Over the week, I have also signed up for a Pop Ukulele Course that will commence from tomorrow (Sunday) onwards. I am kinda excited and hope I will be able to play well and eventually have a new interest to get over all that's bothering me.

At the same time, some stuffs at work this week just didn't make my day. I can't believe how some people can lie about things to me. I may not be your ideal friend at work but all the things that I am doing at work are the right stuffs. I am just asking for people to DO THEIR WORK right. Is it that bad to outcast me because of that? Friendship is one thing, but work is another. Please don't put personal issues into work. I really can't stand working with incompetent people who are simply lazy and always pushing their work to others.

With all that said. I should sleep. ):

A Brand New Year and so a brand new me with new resolutions.

I have made it through to the 2nd day of 2012 and I thought I didn't. I had isolated myself throughout the cross over from 2011 to 2012.

2011 was really a year of ups and downs. It was like an emotional roller coaster ride each time I thought about it and so it wasn't something that I want to party over to usher in the New Year as I am really unsure of what's awaiting.

Reading through my last blog entry, I spoke about moving on from someone. Yeah I did moved on but I fell into another hole just as I was done climbing up from it. Someone else came into my life which sometimes I wished that person didn't. I struggled with the thoughts time round of moving on every other day, because it is just another person who I won't be able to share something with. I have been telling myself that I shouldn't be such an influence to someone so innocent and who probably has a bright future ahead. I couldn't resist my emotions and somehow ruined it between the two of us. I guess that person didn't understand my intentions and have probably misundestood my good intentions somehow. Well, it ain't that bad I have been telling myself. Just the right opportunity for me to give myself an excuse to move on from you.

In 2011, I have also done a lot of things that were against my own beliefs. I've always said no and telling people how bad it is but yet I have ridiculously got myself into this. I actually feel like crying right now thinking how crappy I am.

Anyway.. resolutions for 2012.

I failed to achieve my resolutions in 2011 but this time round, I would like my resolutions come true. I would want to save up this time, with a target for me to meet. I would also want to pick up learning a new hobby, and thats playing a ukulele. Lastly, I hope to improve on my races and my body as a whole.

Three resolutions. I will make it happen.

Here we go ... AGAIN.

Its been a while since I last posted. Working as usual like a workaholic.

But yup. I feel hurt again. Its all about making the wrong choices of friends and probably treating others who probably don't really deserve that kinda care and concern from me.

At times I thought, if you really care and cherish this friendship, you would have at least dropped me a note to say 'hi.. how are you and all' but you didn't. Busy Busy Busy. I am busy too but I took the effort to spend time doing small little things for you and you. We call ourselves buddies.. you said you won't abandon me like how the rest did but in the end what happened? I am all alone, not sure who I can turn to and people who I would I like to talk to simply have no time for me, cos they probably have other things now.

Is this really what we call friends or really just friends on FACEBOOK? or am I just doing too much and expecting too much?

I got to admit... it feels terrible these days. You so much wanted to find your friends but you duno who you want to contact, not because you have alot but some simply bo chup you, and probably never reply you. Maybe I take the friendship between us as something very important and maybe to you its just another 'friendship'.

I am not sure but for this is:
I am telling myself that you and you will be the last. I won't want to think that I am disturbing you, I won't want to think that I am wasting your time, I won't want to think that you really treated me as a very close friend cos it doesn't seems to be the case.

I need to spend more time for myself. I have been doing much for others. I am not asking for anything fantastic in return. All I asked for is the care and concern. But it a message or what, it simply brightens up my day but so far, as my friend you have failed the basic needs to even communicate and its a disappointment. I think it's gonna be a while before I would want to talk to you and you. By then, we could have just drifted apart just like how it happened for Y and K.

Move on I have been telling myself. I will make my life.. better without you.

Eat and.. Sleep

Dinner @ Tam Po Po Liang Court and Ice Cream @ Haagen Dazs Clarke Quay.

Still it didn't really make me feel any better like seriously.

Time to sleep.

"Somebody"

Its been a while since I blogged. Have been coming home late from social activities like makan and run or simply back home and just wanted to spend some time with myself by watching some dramas and etc instead of starring at the bloody screen all the time.

Anyway... its just a random feeling.. that kind of day where you're feeling very down about yourself. I guess the song by Depeche Mode "Somebody" simply describes how I feel now.

Bad Mood Day

Just when I was trying to tell my BFF to cheer up cos its a cheery day for me, things got bad out of sudden and hell I say I am in a really bad and frustrated mood.

It really sucks. Seriously. Backache, Headache, Irritating co-workers. FML

Love and Hate. Hate

It just came across my mind that perhaps I shouldn't be giving out so much love and concern only to not receive anything in return. I know one shouldn't have expectations but somehow an act of concern, be it "how are you" or "have you eaten" beats anything in the world money can buy.

Yes. I don't expect people to treat me nor buy me stuffs to show that they care. All I am asking for is just form of care and concern.

However I guess I having been giving out too much and never had the chance to really love ... MYSELF. It's time I should put you and everything other thing behind and to perhaps spend more time to love myself and hate the rest of the world.

This kinda thinking will sort of help me better in moving on.. be it to somewhere or something else.

Love and Hate. I now choose ... HATE.